Subject: Buying Gifts For Men
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Oct 07 2000 - 02:53:25 EDT
"Buying Gifts For Men"
Rule #8:
Never buy a man anything that says "some
assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his
Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #9:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest
Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere,
Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA
Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also
excellent men's stores.) It doesn't matter if he
doesn't know what it is. ("From NAPA Auto, eh?
Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter
for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! thanks.")
Rule #10:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook -
but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue
with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas
line leaks. Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who
wants a hamburger?"
Rule #11:
Tickets to a Cowboys game are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A
Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone
knows why.
Rule #12:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you
love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please
refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets
a label maker.
Rule #13:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an
aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man
a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No
one knows why.
Rule #14:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our
cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts.
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8"
manila rope. No one knows why.
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