Subject: Buying Gifts For Men
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Oct 05 2000 - 06:37:20 EDT
"Buying Gifts For Men"
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated
as it is for women. Follow these rules and you
should have no problems.
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does
not matter if he already has one. I have a friend
who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a
man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything
with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying
those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your
ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with
my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his
car, a 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or
something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men
love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4:
Never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that
if G-d had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he
wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace
the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of
money buy your man a big-screen TV with the
little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as
he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of
after-shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink -
they are earthy.
Rule #7:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless
drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels
absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups.
Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No
one knows why.
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