Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Fri, 02 Jul 1999 15:23:48 -0400
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: FOOD FUNNY :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Today's food funny comes to us courtesy of "CairalBe."
Mom's Brownie Recipe
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. Melt 1 cup
margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Billy
"no, no." Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away
from Billy and clean cupboards. Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take
shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic
and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from
cat's tail. Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted
flour. Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and
windows for ventilation. Take telephone away from Billy and assure
party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt
to have direct dialed call removed from bill. Measure 1 tsp. salt,
1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well. Let cat out of
refrigerator. Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan. Bake 25
minutes. Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids
that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside
while there's still time and he's still able to run away. Frosting
Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar 1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and
throw it away -- far away. Answer the door and meekly explain to nice
policeman that you didn't know Billy had slipped out of the house and
was heading for the street. Put Billy in playpen. Add 1/3 cup milk,
dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes Answer door
and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in
man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet. Tie
Billy to clothesline. Remove burned brownies from oven.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::: TODAY'S RECIPE ::::::::::::::::::::::::::
In keeping with our "The Vacation Is Over" theme this week, this light
version of the classic hollandaise sauce calls for liquid egg
substitute. If this is unavailable in your area then you will have to
use real eggs, but you can still maintain a low-fat profile by using
just a small dab of the sauce on your chicken.
Poached Chicken with Mustard Hollandaise
2 scallions, finely chopped
1 sprig fresh tarragon, finely chopped, or
1 tsp (5 ml) dried tarragon
Juice of 1 lemon
1 cup (250 ml) water
4 to 6 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
1 recipe low-fat mustard hollandaise sauce (see below)
Combine the scallions, tarragon, lemon juice, and water in a skillet
large enough to hold the chicken breasts in a single layer. Season
the chicken with salt and pepper. Bring the water to a boil and add
the chicken breasts. Add enough water to barely cover the chicken and
return to the boil. Immediately reduce the heat to a simmer and cook
covered for 15 to 20 minutes, until the chicken is firm to the touch.
Remove the chicken breasts with a slotted spoon and spoon the
hollandaise over each portion. Reserve the poaching liquid to make
the hollandaise. Serve the remaining hollandaise on the side for
diners to help themselves. Serves 4 to 6.
Low-Fat Mustard Hollandaise Sauce
4 Tbs (60 ml) lemon juice
3/4 cups reserved poaching liquid (see above) or
chicken broth
1/3 cup (80 ml) egg substitute, shaken vigorously
(or two whole eggs)
2 Tbs (30 ml) margarine, melted
1 Tbs (15 ml) Dijon style mustard
Salt and cayenne pepper to taste
Combine the lemon juice and the reserved poaching liquid in a small
saucepan and boil until it is reduced to about 1/2 cup (125 ml).
Meanwhile, beat the egg substitute in a heavy-bottomed saucepan over
low heat. Slowly add the hot broth mixture, beating constantly, until
the egg substitute thickens, about 3 minutes. Be careful not to
overheat and curdle the egg mixture. When the sauce is the
consistency of melted ice cream, whisk in the margarine, mustard, and
salt and pepper. This produces a thin hollandaise which will thicken
slightly as it cools. Makes about 1 cup (250 ml).
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sat Jul 03 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT