Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Fri, 02 Jul 1999 15:34:36 -0400
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: FOOD FUNNY :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Reader Ruthmarie Justus sent this rather lengthy food funny. If you
have trouble getting to the end, try having another cup of coffee.
You know you are drinking to much coffee when.......
* You answer the door before people knock.
* Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
* You ski uphill.
* You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
* You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
* You lick your coffeepot clean.
* You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you
don't even work there.
* Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
* You chew on other people's fingernails.
* Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
* You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
* You can jump-start your car without cables.
* Cocaine is a downer.
* All your kids are named "Joe".
* You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
* Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
* You don't sweat, you percolate.
* You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
* You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
* You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's
not plugged in.
* You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
* Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
* You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
* People get dizzy just watching you.
* You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
* The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
* Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
* Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
* Instant coffee takes too long.
* When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last
drop."
* You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of
eternity in a coffee can.
* Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
* You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
* You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
* You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
* You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
* You short out motion detectors.
* You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
* Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
* You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
* You don't tan, you roast.
* You can't even remember your second cup.
* You help your dog chase its tail.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::: TODAY'S RECIPE ::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The perfect dessert for "The Vacation Is Over" meal would be tasty and
have absolutely no fat, just like today's recipe. You can actually
use any citrus fruit. Try it with lime juice or pink grapefruit
juice.
Lemon Sorbet
1/2 cup (125 ml) lemon juice
1/4 cup (60 ml) orange juice
1/4 cup (60 ml) sugar
1 tsp (5 ml) finely chopped lemon zest
1/4 cup (60 ml) water
1 egg white
[Note: This recipe calls for an uncooked egg white. If salmonella
contamination is a concern in your area, then it is best to skip this
recipe.]
Combine the lemon juice, orange juice, sugar, lemon zest, and water in
a small bowl and stir to dissolve the sugar.
Ice cream maker method: Cover the citrus mixture and refrigerate for 2
hours, until well chilled. In a separate bowl, beat the egg white
until stiff and fold into the chilled citrus mixture. Pour into an
ice cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer's directions.
Food processor method: Pour the citrus mixture into ice cube trays and
freeze. Place the frozen mixture in an electric food processor and
add the beaten egg white. Process until smooth. Serves 4.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sat Jul 03 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT