New Math

"Guide To The Office Language"*

*BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group
discussing why a deadline was missed or
a project failed and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in,
makes a lot of noise, craps all over
everything and then leaves.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers
beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions
that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the
problems they were designed to solve.

FLIGHT RISK: Used to describe employees who are
suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

OHNO-SECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in
which realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
Like making the selection that reformats your hard drive.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking
the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

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"New Math"*

*Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:
1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds (work on it....)

52 cards: 1 decacards

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale
University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
Received on Sun Mar 27 09:35:23 2011