How To Take A Shower In A Dorm

"How To Take A Shower In A Dorm"*

*There are ways to make just about any situation
fun, even going to your dorm shower...
{Some are a little dated but still fun.}

1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then
scream really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I
had one of THOSE!"

2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and
make sure your clothes get all wet and soapy.
Complain when leaving the bathroom that your
shirt tends to bleed.

3. Ask Scottie to beam you up.

4. Enter the stall, undress and then re-dress up as
Superman. Leap out of the stall, vengefully vow
to stop Lex Luther's evil plot, then run full force
into the wall. Stand up, shake your head, and
proceed to take your shower.

5. Bring a bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the
shower with you. Exclaim "Ow! You know, it really
hurts when you pop one of those." Then let the
blood/ketchup seep down the drain for all to see.

6. Bring in a rubber chicken. Get it all soapy, then
toss in into the next stall. Demand that the person in
that stall return it to you, or you will cast a voodoo
curse on them. The next day, hang the chicken from
the bathroom lighting fixtures by a noose and stick
numerous pins and forks in it.

7. Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall
really hard. Try to knock them down. If anyone later
asks if you are okay, just say that you had some
Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they were reacting
negatively with your stomach.

8. Stand in the bathroom, waiting for would-be
shower-goers. When they come in, tell them "not to
do it" and ask them "not to give in to sin." Wail
mournfully when they step into the shower.

9. Initiate a war with the person in the stall next to you.
Use the residual water on the floor as your battle
medium, and float little battleships over to their side.
If they kick them back or throw them over the edge,
exclaim that you didn't know they had the power of
G~d and sheepishly mumble prayers for the duration
of your shower.

10. Bring in a fake finger. Float it down the drainage
"ditch." Ask if someone would be so kind as to return
it to you. If no one does, tell them that the finger has
been sacrificed to Satan and that the shower stalls
are now possessed. Hang Halloween decorations and
crepe-paper ghosts from them the next day.

11. Bang your head against the stall wall, shouting
Redrum! Redrum!" in your best groggy voice.

12. Bring a Yoo-Hoo chocolate milk drink to the shower
with you. Complain about a stomachache, then moan
"Ohhhh, um, uh-oh," and squirt the Yoo-Hoo down the
drain "ditch" for all to see.

13. Before you turn the shower on, make a noise like you
are charging up a proton pack from Ghostbusters. Before
you turn it off, ask Egon to set the trap up for you.

14. Bring a balloon into the shower. Make the balloon
squeak for the duration of your bathing experience. Then
pop it, and fall to the ground as if shot.

15. Bring dead fish into the shower with you. Let them
float down the drainage "ditch", complaining angrily
about the quality of water these days.

16. Hang up the names of different farm animals in the
stalls. Have everyone entering the stalls join you in a
rendition of "Old McDonald Had A Farm," making the
sound of the animal in their stall.
Received on Sat Jan 8 12:59:54 2011