Beating NASCAR

"Beating NASCAR"*

*A little boy ran away from home and a cop saw him
and said, "Hey little boy, what are you doing?"

The little boy replied, "I'm running away from home."

The cop asked him, "Why are you doing that?"

The little boy replied, "Because my dad beats me."

The cops says "Oh, well get in the car and I will take
you back to your mother"

And the little boy says, "No, no! She beats me too!"

The cop says "Do you have an uncle?"

"Yes but he beats me too," replied the little boy.

So the cop says. "Get in the car and I'll take you to
your grandma's then."

The little boy says "No, no, no! My grandma beats me also."

The cop says, "Well little boy, is there anywhere I can
take you where nobody will beat you?"

And the little boys says, "Take me to live with Mark
Martin because he can't beat anybody."

***********************************************************

"NASCAR Definitions"*

*Jeff Gordon is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the
students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy."

One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend
who lives next door was playing in the street when a car
came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," Gordo says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children
drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains The WonderBoy. "That is what we
would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.

"What?" asks The Rainbow Warrior, "Isn't there any one here
who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice,
he speaks: "If an airplane carrying Jimmie Johnson, Kyle
Busch and Jeff Gordon were blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."

"Wonderful!" Gordon beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell
me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident,
and it certainly would be no great loss!"
Received on Mon Oct 25 16:09:13 2010