Smiling Corpses

"Smiling Corpses"*

*Three smiling corpses are lying in a morgue in Arkansas,
and a detective goes into the coroner's to find the
causes of death. The coroner points to the first dead man.

"This is Cletus," he says. "He died of shock after winning
20 million on the lottery."

He then moves on to the second smiling corpse. "This is Bo,"
the coroner says with a grin. "He died while doing 'it' with Trudy-May."

Finally he moves on to the last smiling corpse. "This is
Roscoe," says the coroner. "He died after being struck by lightning."

"Well," asks the detective, "Why in hell was the fool smiling?"

"Oh," says the coroner. "He thought he was having his picture taken."

*************************************************************

"Cuckoo Clock"*

*Just after I got married, I was invited out for a night with the boys.

I told the misses that I would be home by midnight... promise!

Well, the yarns were being spun and the grog was
going down easy, and at around 3 a.m. full as a boot, I went home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock started,
and cuckooed 3 times. I realized she'd probably wake
up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud
of myself, considering my drunken state, to have escaped a possible
conflict.

The next morning, the misses asked me what time I
got in, so I told her 12 o'clock. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then said that we needed a new cuckoo clock.
When I asked her why, she explained, "Well, it
cuckooed 3 times, said 'dang it,' cuckooed another
4 times, passed gas, cuckooed another 3 times,
cleared its throat, cuckooed twice, then giggled."
Received on Thu Mar 25 08:28:59 2010