Computer Bytes

"Computer Bytes"

Do computers like human beings?
Yes, humans turn them on.

Which is faster, a computer or a human being?
Wait, let me think about that one.

What's a programmer?
A human who give a computer a chance to display all its error messages.

Which way did the computer go?
He went data way.

What do programmers have in common with spies?
They both write in code.

What do you call an aging programmer?
An old softie.

How do you make a computer laugh?
Tee it a programmer joke.

Why did the systems engineer say to the noisy Apple?
If you're not quiet, I'll take a byte out of you.

Why is the newest computer almost human?
When it makes a mistake, it can put the blame on another computer.

What’s a computers favorite song?
"Thanks for the Memory"

What’s a computers favorite sport?
Running.

Should you be afraid of a computerized dog?
No its bark is worse than its byte.

How do you tell a telephone from a computer?
Easy, When you press the RETURN button on a computer, you don't get any
money back.

What do you give a sick computer?
Digitalis

How does a computer die?
It comes down with terminal illness.

What did the mother computer say to her sick baby?
Never mind dear. We'll soon have those nasty bugs out of your system.

What is a sure sign of old age in a computer?
Loss of memory.

What is a computers most common dental problem?
Malocclusion, or OVERBYTE.

What back problem do computers have?
Slipped disks.

What do computers eat?
A bit of almost anything.

How do they choose their meals?
 From the menus, of course.

Do computers have good table manners?
Yes, they take very small bytes.

What happened to the computer that tried out for a movie?
It got a bit part.

Why isn't the computer working?
The little person inside is taking a coffee break.

How do computers spend Saturday nights?
They go out on datas, of course.

How do they dance?
Chip to chip.

Where do they go dancing?
To a disk-o-tech.

Where do computers like to stroll when they have a class reunion?
Down Memory Lane.

What’s the name of the new horror movie for computers?
"Silent Screen"

What do you get when you cross a computer with a refrigerator?
Very cool answers.

What do you get when you cross a computer with a midget?
A short circuit.

What did one computer say to the other computer?
"Whirr, click-click, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!"

What did the proud mother computer say to her smart baby?
'Data Girl'

What did the digital clock say to its mother?
'Look Ma! No hands!'

How is a classroom computer like a dentist?
They both use drill to fill gaps.

Why won't computers ever replace newspapers?
Have you ever tried to swat a fly with a computer?

How did the computer make a real killing?
It executed the programmer.

Why was the computer arrested?
For robbing the memory bank.
Received on Fri Mar 12 07:24:33 2010