She Was So Blonde...

"She Was So Blonde..."*

*...she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her
mind.
...she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".
...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
...if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.
...they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".
...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put
"Capricorn".
...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
...it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
...if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
...when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport
Left" she turned around and went home.

************************************************************************

"Flying Blonde"*

*A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted
to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently
in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to
pilot the helicopter solo by radio.

He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave
her the basics, and sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing
great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting
to get the hang of this."

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it
was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb
over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she
hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed
about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from
the wreckage.

When he asked what happened, she said: "I don't know!
Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was
starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I
turned off the big fan on top."
Received on Fri Mar 12 07:22:17 2010