Ways to Get Your Neighbor to Move

"Ways to Get Your Neighbor to Move"*

*1. Order pizza and other food to their house and
pick it up at their doorstep claiming that you don't have a phone.

2. Stand over the plants in your yard with a hose
and scream, "I have your life in my hands, bow
down to me!" Then point at each one and declare
them good or bad plants, while watering the bad ones.

3. Bring them restraining orders on inanimate
objects in their house. (i.e., chairs, books, lamps, etc.)

4. Ask them if you can put your trash in their
cans, if they ask why say, "Mine are full of
bodies," then stutter and say, "I uh mean
other garbage," walk away laughing hysterically.

5. Patrol the perimeter of your yard while carrying
a broom. If they come close state that their is a
3 foot neutral area between the two yards.

6. At night transplant the plants in their garden.
In the morning say, "looks like they're on the move again."

7. When they're watching TV, pull a lawn chair
behind their window. Sit down with popcorn and
a drink and ask them if they could open a window so you can hear too.

8. Build snowmen with name tags of your neighbors.
Each day hack off a different part of their body.

9. Use your TV remote to change the channels on
their TV from outside. If asked why, say you protest
such programs. (The more educational the program the better.)

10. Dig shallow graves at night filling your yard with
brown grave patches. Make markers out of household appliances.
Received on Thu Jan 21 13:10:53 2010