Lantern Of Events

"Lantern Of Events"*

*In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train
smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred
yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the
driver took the train company to court.

At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the
driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and
forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly
demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his
story, and the suit was dismissed.

"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when
it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."

"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."

"How's that?" the lawyer asked.

"I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!"

**********************************************************

"The Grounded Conductor"*

*Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local
railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking:
"What would you do if you realized that two trains were
heading towards each other on the same track?"

Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track."
 
"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.
 
"Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual
lever down there", answers Tom.

"What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.
 
"Then," Tom continued, "I'd run back up here and use
the phone to call the next signal box."

"What if the phone was busy?"
 
"In that case," Tom argued, "I'd run to the street level and
use the public phone near the station".
 
"What if that had been vandalized?"
 
"Oh well," said Tom, "in that case I would run into town
and get my Uncle Leo."

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?"
 
"Because he's never seen a train crash."
Received on Fri Dec 3 04:06:00 2010