Litigation

"Litigation"*

*A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-
driving case and the defendant, who had both a
record and a reputation for driving under the influence,
demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting
a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and
went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available
for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main
lobby and told them that they were a jury.

The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience
and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The
trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear
that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the
jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home,
and everyone waited.

After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of
patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see
what was holding up the verdict.

When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well, have
they got a verdict yet?"

The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? They're
still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"

*******************************************************

"Quid Pro Quote"*

*After his motion to suppress evidence was denied
by the court the attorney spoke up, "your Honor,"
he said, "what would you do if I called you a stupid, degenerate old fool."

The Judge, now also angered, revered, "I would
hold you in contempt of court and seek to have
you suspended from practicing before this court again!"

"What if I only thought it?" Asked the attorney.

"In that case, there is nothing I could do, you have
the right to think whatever you may."

"Oh, I see. Then, if it pleases the court, let the record
reflect, I 'think' you're a stupid, degenerate old fool."
Received on Sun Nov 22 08:47:20 2009