Golf Novice

"Golf Novice"*

*A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.
Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons,
explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said,
"Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down
the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.

"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.

After he was able to speak again the pro finally said,
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup."

"Oh great! NOW you tell me," said the beginner in a disgusted tone.

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*"Swimming Pool"

*Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an
examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the
patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave
the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will
detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a
diving board looking over an empty swimming pool,
and asks the first patient to jump. The first patient
jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You are a free man. Just tell me
why you did not jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I cannot swim!"
Received on Sun Mar 15 08:28:49 2009