Insurance Laughs

"Insurance Laughs"*

*Below are actual insurance claim form gaffes found by a UK insurance
company:

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"A car drove away at speed catching our client who
went up in the air and his head went through the
windscreen and then rolled off at the traffic lights a
good few feet away. The car then sped off and miraculously
our client remained conscious and managed to cross the road."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under
the bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my
dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Traveled by bus?

A customer collided with a cow. The questions and
answers on the claim form were:

        Q - What warning was given by you?
        A - Horn.
        Q - What warning was given by the other party?
        A - Moo.

"I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching
Lorries, and another on the woman behind."

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a
camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This
distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"On the M6 motorway I moved from the center lane
to the fast lane but the other car didn't give way."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend
on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight."

"I was on my way to see an unconscious patient who
had convulsions and was blocked by a tanker."

"Mr. X is in hospital and says I can use his car and take
his wife while he is there. What shall I do about it?"

"No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened."

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I
would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car
and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again."

"We had completed the turn and had just straightened
the car when Miss X put her foot down hard and headed for the ladies' loo."
Received on Mon Mar 16 07:00:27 2009