Air Force Retirement Pension Plan

"Air Force Retirement Pension Plan"*

*The Pentagon recently found it had too many officers,
and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised
any officer who retired straight away his full annual
benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a
straight line between any two points on his body, with
the officer getting to select any pair of points he wished.

The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked
the pension man to measure from the top of his head to
the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check
of $720,000.

The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet.
He walked out with a check for $960,000.

When the third one, a grizzled old Navy commander, was
asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From
the tip of my penis to my testicles."

The pension man suggested that perhaps he might like to
reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two
generals had received. The commander insisted and the
pension expert said that would be fine, but that he’d better
get the medical officer to do the measuring.

The medical officer attended and asked the commander to
drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the
tip of the commander’s penis and began to work back. My
goodness!" he said. "Where are your testicles?"

"In Vietnam," the commander replied.
Received on Tue Jan 20 07:58:43 2009