Vacation Complaints

"Vacation Complaints"*

*Hot weather, strong alcohol and melting ice cream
were among the most bizarre complaints made by
British holiday-makers this year, according to one
online travel agent.

Upon arrival in Portugal, one British family told of
their distress at the sunny weather and complained
that they were too 'hot and sweaty' in their holiday clothes.

One man told staff of his irritation at the number of
holiday-makers who travelled with plain black
suitcases, hindering his attempts to find his own
plain black suitcase on the airport conveyor belt.

After discovering that the shampoo in her luggage
had leaked during her flight, one woman bemoaned
the fact that the hotel she was staying in provided
complimentary toiletries, rendering the entire incident
"very preventable."

Another woman wrote in to complain that her plane
journey was a disappointment because the sky was
far too cloudy, impeding the view for her and her
children and spoiling their game of eye-spy.

Following a trip to a local theme park, another woman
wrote to the travel agent to complain that the Log
Flume ride made her feet wet and the sun was so
strong that her ice cream melted too quickly.

One couple criticized the excellent children's
entertainment at their resort ­ so good, in fact, that
their children didn't want to spend any time with
their parents, while another couple claimed that the
lunchtime cocktails at their resort were surprisingly
strong, leaving them rather worse for wear during the afternoon.

******************************************************

"Old Timer's Bar"*

*Four retired guys are walking down a street in Miami
Beach. Then they turn a corner and see a sign that says
"Old Timer's Bar "..." ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS ! " They look
at each other then go in. On the inside, they realize in
this case, they should not judge the 'book by its cover.'

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across
the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you!
What'll it be, Gentlemen?"

There seems to be a fully-stocked bar, so the men all ask
for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up 4
iced martinis - shaken not stirred - and says, "That'll be
10 cents each , please." The four men stare at the
bartender for a moment then look at each other. They
can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents,
finish their martinis, and order another round. Again,
four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender
again saying, ... ...."That's 40 more cents, please."

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand.

They've each had two martinis, and so far they've spent
less than a dollar. Finally one of the men says, "How
can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"

"Here's my story. I'm a retired tailor from Brooklyn, and
I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery
for $25 million and decided to open this place. Every
drink costs a dime, wine, liquor, beer, all the same....
this place is only my retirement hobby."

"Wow. That's quite a story." says one of the men.

The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't
help but notice three other guys at the end of the bar
who didn't have a drink in front of them, and hadn't
ordered anything the whole time they were there.
One man gestures at the three at the end of the bar
without drinks and asks the bartender, "What's with them?"

The bartender says,"Oh, those are vacationing Canadians.
They're waiting for our 2 for 1 happy hour."
Received on Sun Dec 13 16:32:06 2009