Sun Signs

"Sun Signs"*

*ARIES Dear G~d, please give me patience...
and could you do it right now?

TAURUS Dear G~d, help me accept change, but not too quick.

GEMINI Dear G~d! Who is G~d? Where is G~d? Why is G~d?

CANCER Dear G~d!!!

LEO Yes?

VIRGO Dear G~d, please make us perfect and don't
mess it up like You did the last time.

LIBRA Dear G~d, please help me to be decisive,
but on the other hand, what do you think is best?

SCORPIO Our Father, forgive us our debts as we
forgive our debtors, even though the SOBs don't deserve it!

SAGITTARIUS Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've
told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.

CAPRICORN Dear G~d! I'd like to ask you to help me,
but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!

AQUARIUS Dear G~d, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!

PISCES Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this
fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.

*******************************************************

"Seventeen!!"*

*One day this man was jumping up and down on a
manhole cover screaming at the top of his lungs,
"Seventeen!! Seventeen!!"

Intrigued by the man's insane behavior, another
man walks over to him and asks why he is doing
that. The first man responded, "It's a blast. You
have to try it. Jump as high as you can and scream
'Seventeen!!' as loud as humanly possible. You get
such a rush. C'mon, give it a shot!" he says and steps aside.

Reluctantly, the second man gets on the manhole
cover and barely hops and says, "Seventeen?" very timidly.

"No, no, no! You're doing it wrong. Jump higher, yell louder!"

So, the second man begins jumping a little higher
and speaking louder than normal. Finally he says,
"Hey, you know, I am getting a little bit of a rush.
Seventeen! Seventeen!!! SEVENTEEN!!!"

The man jumps higher and higher, screaming louder
and louder. Soon he is in such a state of euphoria
he doesn't see the first man yank the manhole cover
out from under him...

"SEVENTEEeeeeeeeeen!"

The first man stares down the manhole a couple
seconds, replaces the cover, and continues,

"Eighteen!! Eighteen!!"
Received on Sun Dec 13 16:24:32 2009