In A Public Library

"Ways To Annoy The Person Sitting Next To You In A Public Library"*

*1. Read out loud. Very loud. And slowly.

2. While pointing to a very simple word, like 'the',
ask the person next to you if he/she can pronounce it for you.

3. While looking at your book, turn so you’re facing
the person. Then, peer over the top of your book, and say "PEEKABOO!!"

4. Put down you book, and look over and start reading the other persons
book, and, either 1) say "Ooo. Nice
book." or 2) when he/she looks at you, quickly pick up your book and act
like your reading it.

5. Suddenly look over at him/her, and say, "You’re one of THEM!"

6. Put down you book, and look at him/her. When he/she
says something, like "what?" then cut them off by saying "Are you
accusing me of something?!?"

7. Read your book. Upside down.

8. Read your book from right to left. And flip the pages the same way.

9. Flip the page every two or so seconds.

10. Pick up your book, put it down, and say, "Wow. That was a good book."

11. Read silently, and then as if speaking to the character in your
book, say, "No, Jim! It's a trap!
Don't do it!!" Then turn to the person and reply solemnly, "He did it."
when he/she looks at you.

12. Turn to the person and ask, "Have you ever experienced déjà vu and
amnesia at the same time?"

13. Start arguing with yourself, then when he/she looks
at you funny, say "Ohh, I'm sorry. I was just telling my subconscious to
be quiet."

14. Sit down, and then say to the person next to you, "Hi! My name's
(...) and I'm really glad to meet you."

15. Ask him/her if he/she knew there are eddies in the space/time continuum.

16. Ask him/her what species he/she is.

17. Every so often, yelp in pain, and look at your feet.

18. Bring a bag or purse, and peer into it and say,
"Got enough air in their?" or, "Settle down in there. I'm trying to read!"

19. Ask them what their name is, and then when they start to reply, cut
them off by saying, "No it isn't!"

20. Break the silence by making a bodily function noise, then say, "Wow!
That was a good one!"

21. Every time the person next to you turns the page, make a strange
sound, or a beep.

22. Announce the page number each time you turn a page.

23. Constantly shift in your seat, and if the person
next to you asked what is wrong, reply by saying, "I'm constipated. Hehe."

24. Spell every single word as you read it.

25. Chew gum with your mouth open, and smack your lips while reading.
Received on Fri Apr 3 07:07:17 2009