Post Turtle

"Post Turtle"

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old
Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate
while working cattle, the doctor struck up a
conversation with the old man. Eventually the
topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our
President.

The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is
a 'post turtle'.'

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked
him what a 'post turtle' was. The old rancher said,
'When you're driving down a country road and you
come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on
top, that's a 'post turtle'.'

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's
face, so he continued to explain. 'You know he didn't
get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there,
he doesn't know what to do while he is up there,
and you just wonder what kind of a dumb a-ss put
him up there to begin with.'

****************************************************

"Periodic Table Revised"

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest
element yet known to science. The new element,
Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton- like particles called peons. Since Governmentium
has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected,
because it impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can
cause a reaction that would normally take less than
a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does
not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which
a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over
time, since each reorganization will cause more morons
to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic
of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an element that radiates just as much
energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons but twice as many morons.
Received on Sat Sep 27 08:10:00 2008