Customer Service

"Customer Service"*

*I called UPS about an insurance claim I had filed
on a package. I knew the automated voice
response system wouldn't be able to handle
this issue so I immediately said, "customer service."

It did a little beep-boop-bop computing noise, and
then insisted that I first pick from its menu, none
of which items bore any resemblance to insurance claims.

I tried "track a package." It recited the status,
followed by "Can I help you with anything else?"
I said, more insistently, "customer service," at which
it complained that that was the most recent shipping information.

Exasperated--but a bit curious--I said, "Damn you,"
and after the little computing noise, it swiftly
transferred me to customer service.

*************************************************

"Daily News"*

*There was a man who, everyday, would buy a
newspaper on the way to work, glance at the
headline, and hand it back to the newsboy.

Day after day the man would go through this
routine. Finally the newsboy could not stand it
and he asked the man, "Why do you always buy
a paper and only look at the front page before discarding it?"

The man replied, "I am only interested in the obituaries."

"But they are on page 21. You never even unfold the newspaper."

"Young man," he said, "the SOB I'm looking for will be on the front page."
Received on Sat Sep 20 09:17:40 2008