Calories Burned During Sex

"Calories Burned During Sex"*

*REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
   With her consent.................................12 Calories
   Without her consent...........................2,187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
   With both hands.................................. 8 Calories
   With one hand....................................12 Calories
   With your teeth.................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A COND*M:
   With an erection..................................6 Calories
   Without an erection...........................3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:
   Missionary...................................12 Calories
   69 lying down...............................78 Calories
   69 standing up..............................812 Calories
  Wheelbarrow................................216 Calories
  Doggy Style..................................326 Calories
  Italian chandelier..........................2,912 Calories

ORGASMS:
   Real........................................112 Calories
   Faked .........................................1,315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
   Lying in bed hugging.............................18 Calories
  Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
  Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
  20-29 years......................................36 Calories
  30-39 years......................................80 Calories
  40-49 years..................................... 124 Calories
  50-59 years...................................1,972 Calories
  60-69 years...................................7,916 Calories
  70 and over..............................Impossible, Zero Calories

DRESSING AFTER SEX
   Calmly..........................................32 Calories
   In a hurry.......................................98 Calories
   With her father knocking at the door..........5,218 Calories
   With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories

                   Results may vary ...

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD.
As you read this survey, millions of Americans are having SEX!

And you are on the computer! Get Busy!
Received on Sat Sep 20 09:15:49 2008