Fear of Flying

"Hot Mamma"

Jack, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor
to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor
saw Jack walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Jack
and said, "You are really doing great, aren't you?"

Jack replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc:
'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"

The doctor said, "I did not say that. I said,
'You have got a heart murmur; be careful.'"

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"Fear of Flying"

A certain executive had an inordinate fear of flying. He
was to represent his company in a multi-million dollar
deal that would take place in Tokyo. Alas, he was
trapped. He would have to fly. The person at the ticket
counter noticed his nervousness and was very
reassuring. "Just relax and have a good time."

"Just for the record," he asked, "What kind of plane
will I be flying on?" The answer of "DC-10" struck new
terror into the man. He bravely approached the boarding
area. He finally made it into his seat before his shaking
knees gave out. He sat in his seat for about 20 minutes,
becoming more scared as the minutes ticked on. He
summoned the stewardess. "What is taking so long?
We should have taken off 15 minutes ago."

"Part of the crew got held up in traffic, sir. We will be leaving
in just a few minutes." Sure enough, a few minutes later,
he saw the gangplank recede into the side of the terminal;
the doors shut, and felt the cabin pressure build slightly.
The engines began to whine. The plane slowly backed out,
rolled over to the runway and began to pick up speed. Just
as they were about to leave the ground, the engines shut
down. The plane taxied back to the gate they had just left.
The gangplank came out and the engines shut off.

The man was nearly hysterical. "Stewardess, what is wrong?"

"Not to worry, sir. As we approached takeoff speed, the
pilot heard something in one of the engines that he did
not like, so he brought us back here.
We are fixing the problem now."

"That is great. I am glad there is concern for our safety."

Within, 3 minutes, the man saw the gangplank recede
and heard the engines whine again. They taxied out
and took off. "That was really fast!
Did they fix the problem that easily?"

"No, sir, we switched pilots."
Received on Tue May 6 08:08:51 2008