Divorced Barbie

"Divorced Barbie"*

*A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll
for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in
the window?", he asks the shop assistant.

In a manner she responds, "Which Barbie?
We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95,
Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes
Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach
for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95,
and Divorced Barbie for $395.00. "

The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different
from all the others?"

"That's obvious," the assistant states, "Divorced
Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's
boat, Ken's furniture... "

*******************************************

"Ken's Letter to Santa"*

*Dear Santa,

I understand that one of my colleagues has
petitioned you for changes in her contract,
specifically asking for anatomical and career changes.

In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging
remarks were made about me, my ability to please, and
some of my fashion choices. I would like to take this
opportunity to inform you of some issues concerning Ms.
Barbie, and some of my own needs and desires.

First of all, I along with several other colleagues
feel Barbie DOES NOT deserve preferential treatment-the
bitch has EVERYTHING!! I, along with Joe, Jem, Raggedy
Ann & Andy, DO NOT have a dream house, Corvette,
evening gowns, and in some cases, the ability to change
our hairstyle. I personally have 3 outfits which I am
forced to mix and match at great length. My decision to
accessorize my outfits with an earring was my decision
and reflects my lifestyle choice.

I, too, would like a change in my career. Have you
considered :"Decorator Ken", "Beauty Salon Ken", or
"Out of Work Actor Ken"? In addition, there are several
other avenues which could be considered such as:"S&M
Ken", "Green Lantern Ken", "Circuit Ken", "Bear Ken",
"Master Ken". These would more accurately reflect my
desires and perhaps open new markets.

And as for Barbie needing bendable arms so she can
"push me away", I need bendable knees so I can kick
that bitch to the curb. Bendable knees would also be
helpful for me in other situations-we've talked about
this issue before. In closing, I would like to point out
that any further concessions to the blond bimbo from
hell will result in action taken by myself and others.

Sincerely,
Ken
P. S. Barbie can forget about having Joe-he's mine,
at least that is what he said last night.
Received on Mon Dec 15 19:07:25 2008