Something For The House

"Something For The House"*

*The husband was not home at his usual hour,
and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later
and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise
at the front door, and as she stood at the top of
the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a
skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.

"Do you realize what time it is?" she asked.

He answered, "Don't get excited. I'm late because
I bought something for the house."

Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran
down the stairs to meet him halfway, she said,
"What did you buy for the house, dear?"

His answer was, "A round of drinks!"

*************************************************

"Too Drunk"*

*Roy walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously
drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a
stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender politely informs Roy that it appears that
he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be
served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him?

Roy is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles,
climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door.

A few minutes later, Roy stumbles in the SIDE door of
the "same" bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink.

The bartender comes over and, still politely but more
firmly, refuses service to him due to his inebriation, and
again offers to call a cab. He looks at the bartender for
a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the
side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, Roy bursts in through the BACK door
of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers
his wits and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender
comes over and emphatically reminds him that he is clearly drunk,
will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called
immediately.

Roy surprisingly looks at the bartender, and in hopeless
anguish, cries - "MAAAN! How many bars do you work at!?!?!"
Received on Sat Dec 6 07:45:24 2008