Grinch Scale

"Grinch Scale"*

*This is a set of essential personality tests to
prepare you for Christmas and for your New Year's resolutions:

1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your
own name.
(5 points)

2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to
replenish your own supply.
(5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)

3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer.
(10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)

4. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children.
(1 point for each piece of sticky candy)
If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points

5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or
K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends.
(5 points for each infraction)

6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on
Christmas day, claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.
(5 points, 10 if from a cell phone)

7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge
stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home.
(5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)

8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own .
(Southern California only, others ignore: 5 points)

9. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring
a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made.
(5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year)

10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite
no-no.
(20 points)

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"Grinch Scale Result"*

*Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.

20-30: You are just a cheeseball.

30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and
are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.

50-100: Grinch, move over.
The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.
Received on Sat Dec 6 07:50:05 2008