The Bag of Gifts

"The Bag of Gifts"*

*Seems G~d was just about done creating the universe,
but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations,
so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.
He told the couple that one of the things he had
to give away was the ability to stand up while
urinating. "It's a very handy thing", G~d told the
couple, who he found under an apple tree. "I was
wondering if either one of you wanted the ability."

Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd
love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of thing a
man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me
have that ability, It'd be so great! When I'm working
in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand
there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my
name in the sand. Oh please G~d, let it be me who you
give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please...

On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to
pee. Eve just smiled and told G~d that if Adam really
wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed
to be the sort of thing that would make him happy and
she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given
this ability.

And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction
of his misdirection while in a vertical position. And so, he
was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark
on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the
while. And it was good.

"Fine," G~d said, looking back into his bag of leftover
gifts, "What's left here? Oh yes, Multiple orgasms....."
Received on Fri Aug 29 20:01:31 2008