New CEO

"They Don't Even Wait Until He's In The Ground"*
*
Joe, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in
his sleep one night. The Governor had depended
on Joe for advice on every subject, from pending
bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Joe had
been his closest friend.
 
So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't
take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers
who wanted Joe's job. "They don't even have the
decency to wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered.
 
At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the
Governor's side. "Governor," the man said, "is there
a chance that I could take Joe's place?"
 
"Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better
hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished."

*****************************************************

"New CEO"*
*
Jack had just been hired as the new CEO of a large
high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping
down met with him privately and presented him
with three numbered envelopes....#1,#2,#3.
 
"Open these if you run up against a problem you
don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.
 
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six
months later, sales took a downturn and Jack was
really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end,
he remembered the envelopes. He went to his
drawer and took out the first envelope. The message
read, "Blame your predecessor."
 
Jack, the new CEO called a press conference and
tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous
CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and
Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to
pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
 
About a year later, the company was again experiencing
a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product
problems. Having learned from his previous experience,
the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The
message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the
company quickly rebounded.
 
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the
company once again fell on difficult times. Jack went
to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.
 
The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."
Received on Thu Aug 28 23:47:30 2008