Accountant Q & A

"Accountant Q & A"

Q. What is the definition of an accountant?
A. Someone who solves a problem you did not
know you had in a way you do not understand.

Q. What is the definition of a good tax accountant?
A. Someone who has a loophole named after him.

Q. When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A. When he realizes he does not have the
charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

Q. What is an extroverted accountant?
A. One who looks at your shoes while he
is talking to you instead of his own.

Q. How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
A. Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and
fold up a road map the wrong way.

Q. Why actuaries exist?
A. So accountants have someone to make fun of.

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"Tax Quotes"

"What is an auditor? Someone who arrives after
the battle and bayonets all the wounded."
-- Gary D. Potter

"I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into
prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket
and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
-- Winston Churchill

"The only difference between a taxman and
a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
-- Mark Twain

"Taxes are due. We all hate paying taxes, but
without our tax money, many politicians would
not be able to afford prostitutes."

-- Jimmy Kimmel

"The belief that you can cut taxes while increasing
expenditures and still achieve a balanced budget
is equivalent to the concept that quitting your job
and refusing to work will improve your financial situation."
-- Gerard
Received on Thu Apr 17 16:11:32 2008