For Those Who Have Kids

"For Those Who Have Kids"

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether
they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews,
or students, here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can
take comfort from the thought that even G~d's
omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, G~d created Adam
and Eve. Moreover, the first thing he said was
"DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." G~d said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit.
Hey Eve we have forbidden fruit."

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said G~d.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" G~d replied,
wondering why He had not stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, G~d saw His children having
an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" G~d asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, G~d's
punishment was that Adam and Eve should
have children of their own.

Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed.

However, There Is Reassurance In The Story!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give
children wisdom and they have not taken it, do
not be hard on yourself. If G~d had trouble raising
children, what makes you think it would be a
piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

* You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk.
Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and be quiet.

* Grandchildren are G~d's reward for not killing your own children.

* Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

* Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you should not have said.

* The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that there are children more awful than your own.

* We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

FINALLY:

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache,
do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

"Take Two Aspirin" And "Keep Away From Children!"
Received on Tue May 29 08:29:34 2007