The Chainsaw

"Making Coffee"

Cousin Elly is the world's worst at getting instructions
mixed up. When she got married her husband bought
her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had
all the latest gadgets on it.

Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything
worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to
bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready."

A few weeks later Elly was back in the store and
Riley asked her how she liked the coffee maker.

"Wonderful!" she replied, "However, there's one thing
I don't understand. Why do I have to go to bed every
time I want to make a pot of coffee?"

**********************************************

"The Chainsaw"

This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some
trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and
asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him,
"Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save
yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the
top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred
cords of wood for you in one day."

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins
working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and
only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there
is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for
hours and only cut two cords?" the man asks himself.
"I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the
man tells himself. So, the next morning the man gets up
at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till
nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told
me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no
problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man
says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back to the
dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by
the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case.
The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine."

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man
responds, "What's that noise?"
Received on Fri May 4 09:29:22 2007