Getting a Physical

"Getting a Physical"

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115," she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her
weight is 140 lbs.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8 inches," she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only
measures 5' 5". She then takes the patient's
blood pressure and tells the woman it is very
high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I
came in here I was tall and slender! Now
I'm short and fat!"

****************************************

"New Primary Care Physician"

I recently picked a new primary care physician.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said
I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't
resist asking him, Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or
wine?"

"Oh no," I replied, "I'm not doing drugs, either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and
barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat
is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing
golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have
a lot of sex?"

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you give a hoot?"
Received on Tue Jun 5 09:38:17 2007