Devil's Advocate

"Devil's Advocate"

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when
the Devil appeared before him.

The Devil said to the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you.
You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life.
Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in
awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of
money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's
soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents,
grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of
all of your friends and law partners."

The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked,
"So, what's the catch?"

***********************************************

"Rat Sculpture"

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in
San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects
on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of
a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that
he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price.

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner,
"and an extra thousand for the story behind it."

"At that price, you can keep the story, old man," he
replies, "but I'll take the bronze rat."

The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store
with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the
street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from
a sewer drain and fall into step behind him.

Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to
walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer,
more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's
walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his
heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks
even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes
of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots
and abandoned cars, all following him.

Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he
sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill he panics
and starts to run full tilt.

No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up,
squealing hideously, now not just thousands but
millions, so that by the time he comes racing to the
water's edge a trail of rats twelve blocks long is
behind him.

Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a lamppost,
grasping it with one arm, while he hurls the bronze
rat into San Francisco Bay as far as he can throw it.

Pulling his legs up and clinging to the post, he watches
in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over
the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.

Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to
the antique shop.

"Ah sir, you've come back for the story," says the owner.

"No," says the tourist, "I was just hoping you had a
bronze sculpture of a lawyer."
Received on Fri Jun 1 08:07:37 2007