Kentucky Vasectomy

"Don't Bet On The Horses"

It was the day of the big oral exam and teacher was
testing Herman. "If one horse runs one mile in a
minute and a half and another horse can do the
same distance in two minutes, how far would the
first horse be ahead if they ran a race of two miles?"

"Listen, teacher," said Herman. "My old man told
me never to have nothin' to do with horses in any
form."

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"Kentucky Vasectomy"

A Kentucky couple, both certified rednecks, had nine
children. They went to the doctor to see about getting
the husband "fixed."

The doctor gladly started the required procedure and
asked them what finally made them make the decision
--why after nine children, would they choose to do this.

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article
that one out of every ten children being born in the United
States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance
on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could
speak Spanish.

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"The Box of Chocolates"

For all of us who are married, were married, wish
you were married, or wish you weren't married, this
is something to smile about the next time you open
a box of chocolates:

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips
in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo
woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was
a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked
the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit
of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman
just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw,
studying every little detail, until she noticed a white
bag on the seat next to Sally.

"What in bag?" asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box
of chocolates. I got it for my husband,"

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment
or two.

Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she
said: "Good trade."
Received on Sat Jan 27 09:05:00 2007