The Knight's Error

"The Knight's Error"

A knight and his men return to their castle after
a long hard day of fighting.

"How are we faring?" asks the king.

"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing
and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the
towns of your enemies in the West."

"What?" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies
to the West."

"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."

********************************************

"Pearly Gates Early Arrival"

A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted.
St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the
guy's name is written in it. After several minutes, St.
Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says,
"I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book."

"How current is your copy?" he asks.

"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies,
"why do you ask?"

"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the
stubborn type. It was not until my death was immanent
that I cried out to G~d, so my name probably hasn't
arrived to your copy yet."

"I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we're
waiting for the update to come through, can tell me
about a really good deed that you did in your life?"

The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Humm, well
there was this one time when I was drivin' down a
road and I saw a giant group of biker gang members
harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure
enough, there they were, about 20 of 'em torturing
this poor woman.

Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of
my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang.
He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a
studded leather jacket and a chain running from
his nose to his ears.

As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a
circle around me and told me to get lost or I'd be
next. So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face
and smashed him over the head with the tire iron.
Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them,
'Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a
bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before
I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!'"

St. Peter, duly impressed, says, "Wow! When did this
happen?"

"Oh... About three minutes ago."
Received on Fri Jan 26 09:37:11 2007