Man Laws, Part II

"Man Laws"
Part II

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports"
must be treated as spies until they demonstrate
knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the
last slice of pizza, but not both, that is just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you
had better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing
a friend of yours, except if she is withholding sex
pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another
man while lifting weights:

a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you
are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both
waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an
almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation
you need.

23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is
not acceptable for her to drive yours.

24: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown,
pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

25: The girl who replies to the question, "What
do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved
me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox.
End of story.

26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice
Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

27: We have all heard about people having guts
or balls. However, do you really know the difference
between them? In an effort to keep you informed,
the definition of each is listed below:

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with
the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom,
and having the guts to say, "Are you still cleaning or
are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with
the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on
your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having
the balls to say, "You're next!"

I hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd
Received on Wed Feb 21 08:35:19 2007