Good & Bad News For a Pastor

"Good News and Bad News For a Pastor"

Good News: You baptized seven people today
in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift
current.

Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send
you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job
description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also
formed a search committee to find somebody
capable of filling the position.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who
approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong
Show," "Beavis and B*tthead" and "Texas Chainsaw
Massacre."

Good News: Your women's softball team finally won
a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more
church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn
of your parsonage.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically
the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the
Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop
of your denomination.

Good News: The youth in your church come to your
house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they
are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to
"decorate" your house.
Received on Fri Apr 6 07:33:24 2007