How to Survive THE Question

"How to Survive THE Question"

Some things men can say when getting
caught looking at another woman:

- I can't believe that outfit she is wearing.
(Said disdainfully)

- Look at that guy... over there... behind
the woman.

- I think that's a man dressed as a
woman. (Incredulous)

- Isn't that the actress from the movie
Delicatessen? (Chances are she hasn't
seen that movie - and neither have you,
but you will get brownie points naming
a foreign film, and it will be just obtuse
enough to distract her.

- I think that's the girl I knew from high
school who eventually joined a convent
(or was committed to an asylum) and
turned out to be a real nut case.

- Help me, I got something in my eye...
can't see a thing!

- Hey that's the loser I dumped in order
to go out with you. Boy am I glad I ever
got away from her. What a moron.

- I know you're probably thinking I was
staring at a beautiful woman, but to me
she is like one of those fancy bakery cakes
that looks good, but then you have a bite
and it is so sweet that it makes you sick.
She makes me sick. (It helps if you convulse
a little at the end here.. maybe it will
camouflage your drool).

- I was just thinking how I felt sorry for her -
since she can never hold a candle to you
(this one might only get you punched, but
it's worth a try).

- Do you think she's prettier than me?
(Give her a taste of her own medicine)
Received on Tue Sep 5 12:44:14 2006