Walking on Water

"Twice a Year"

A friend was in front of me coming out of church
one day, and as always the preacher was standing
at the door shaking hands as the congregation
departed. He grabbed my friend by the hand and
pulled him aside.

The preacher said to him, "You need to join the
Army of the Lord!"

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord,
Preacher."

The preacher questioned, "How come I don't see
you except for Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

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"Walking on Water"

A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river
fishing in their rowboat. Twelve o'clock rolls around,
and one of the deacons notices a nice spot on the
bank to have lunch. He turns to the others and says,
"That looks like a nice spot for lunch. What do you
say we have lunch over there?"

The other deacon agrees, and so does the pastor. The
deacon stands up in the boat, steps out onto the river
and walks over to the bank. The pastor looks on with
amazement, and thinks to himself, if his deacon is
holy enough to walk on water, surely he can.

The other deacon stands up, picks up the picnic basket,
steps out of the boat, and walks over to the bank and
sits with the first deacon. Again, the pastor thinks, if his
second deacon is holy enough to walk on water, surely
he can.

The pastor stands up, steps out of the boat, and falls
right into the water. While he's splashing around the first
deacon turns to the second and says, "Think we should
have told him where the tree stumps are?"
Received on Fri Oct 27 03:38:00 2006