A Collegiate Canine

"A Collegiate Canine"

A young boy goes off to college, but about 1/3
way through the semester, he has foolishly
squandered what money his parents gave him.

"Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get
more dough?" Then he gets an idea.

He calls his father.

"Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders
that modern education are coming up with! Why,
they actually have a program here that will teach
Fido how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says.
  "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy
says, "I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About
2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out.
The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says,
"but you just won't believe this - they've had such
good results with this program, that they've
implemented a new one to teach the animals
how to READ!"

"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do
I have to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."

...And his father sends the money.

At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem.
When he gets home, his father will find out that the
dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the
dog. When he gets home, his father is all excited.

"Where's Fido? I just can't wait to hear him talk
and listen to him read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This
morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in
the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading
the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he
turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still
messin' around with that little redhead who lives
on Oak Street?' "

The father says, "Oh, crap; I hope you SHOT
that lyin' SOB!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"
Received on Wed Oct 11 08:20:00 2006