Aunt Bessie And The Bomb

"Aunt Bessie And The Bomb"

Great-aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and
nephews, seems she had relatives all over the
country. Problem was that no matter how much
she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No
matter how safe people told her it was, she was
always worried that someone would have a bomb
on the plane.

She read the books about how safe it was, and
listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the
safety features. But she still worried herself silly
every time a visit was coming up.

Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw
the statistics she'd be convinced. So they sent
her to a friend of the family who was an actuary.
"Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the
chances that someone will have a bomb on a
plane?"

The actuary looked through his tables and said,
"A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred
thousand."

She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So
what are the odds of two people having a bomb
on the same plane?"

Again he went through his tables. "Extremely
remote," he said. "About one in a billion."

Aunt Bessie nodded and left his office. And from
that day on, every time she flew, she took a bomb
with her.

**************************************************

"Sniffer Dog"

A man is sitting in a plane which is about to takeoff
when another man with a dog occupies the empty
seats alongside.

The dog is sat in the middle, and the first man
is looking quizzically at the dog when the second
man explains that they work for the airline.

The airline rep said "Don't mind Rover, he is
a sniffer dog, the best there is, I'll show you
once we get airborne and I set him to work."

The plane takes off and levels out when the handler
says to the first man, "Watch this." He tells the dog,
"Rover, search."

The dog jumps down, walks along the aisle and
sits next to a woman for a few seconds. It then
returns to its seat and puts one paw on the
handler's arm. He says "Good boy."

He turns to the first man and says, "That woman
is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a
note of this, and the seat number, for the police
who will apprehend her on arrival."

"Fantastic!" replies the first man.

Once again he sends the dog to search the aisles.
The dog sniffs about, sits down beside a man for
a few seconds, returns to its seat and places both
paws on the handler's arm.

The airline rep says, "That man is carrying cocaine,
so again, I'm making a note of this, and the seat
number."

"I like it!" says the first man.

Once again he sends the dog to search the aisles.
Rover goes up and down the plane aisle and after
a while sits down next to someone, and then comes
racing back and jumps up onto the seat and craps
all over the place.

The first man is surprised and disgusted by this,
and asks "What's going on?"

The handler nervously replies, "He just found
a bomb!"
Received on Tue May 2 09:18:18 2006