Rules For Surviving A Horror Movie

"Rules For Surviving A Horror Movie"

1. When it appears that you have killed the
monster, never check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning
aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if
the power has just gone out.

4. Never accept invitations from strangers,
especially individuals who inexplicably live in
isolated areas and have no contact with society.

5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that
open portals to Hell.

6. If you're searching for the cause of a noise
and find out that it's not just the cat, leave the
room immediately if you value your life.

7. If appliances start operating by themselves,
move out.

8. No alcohol or partying! These activities will
surely seal your fate.

9. If you find a town that is deserted, it's probably
for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.

10. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology
unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

11. Stay away from certain geographical locations,
some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm
Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, the Bermuda Triangle,
or any small town in Maine.

12. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go
to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone
for help.

13. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as
chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers,
electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers,
butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or
any device made from deceased companions.
Received on Tue Mar 21 08:45:30 2006