Late for Date

"Drunk"

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after
staring for some time at the only woman
seated at the bar, walked over to her and
kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly. He
immediately apologized and explained,
"I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You
look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched,
no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound
exactly like her."

****************************************

"Lipstick"

"Can you explain to me how this lipstick
got on your collar ?" the suspicious wife
sneered.

"No, I can't." the husband replied. "I distinctly
remember taking my shirt off."

****************************************

"Late for Date"

After waiting more than an hour and a half
for her date, the young lady decided she
had been stood up. She changed from
her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers,
fixed some popcorn and resigned herself
to an evening of TV.

No sooner had she flopped down in front
of the TV than her doorbell rang. There
stood her date.

He took one look at her and gasped, "I'm
two hours late . . . and you're still not ready?"
Received on Fri Mar 10 06:53:13 2006