Men's Etiquette

"Men's Etiquette"

If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem
-- you didn't see nothin'.

You must offer heartfelt and public condolences
over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was
you who secretly threw it into a ceiling fan.

Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the
last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain
mean.

Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you
are on equal footing: both urinating, both
waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an
almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation
you need.

Never allow a conversation with a woman to go
on longer than you are able to have sex with her.
Keep a stopwatch by the phone; Hang up if
necessary.

No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday
present for another man. In fact, even
remembering your buddies birthday is optional.

When stumbling upon other guys watching a
sporting event, you may always ask the score
of the game in progress, but you may never
ask who's playing.

It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink
only when you're sunning on a tropical beach...
and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...
and it's free.
Received on Tue Feb 28 06:36:51 2006