Wireless Security System

"Pets vs Kids"

Pets are better than kids.

They eat less, don't ask for money all the time,
and are easier to train.

They usually come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using
friends, don't smoke or drink, or worry
about having to buy the latest fashions.

They don't wear your clothes, won't need
a gazillion dollars for college, and, best
of all, if they get pregnant . . .you can
sell the children!

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"Wireless Security System"

How to install a wireless security system:

Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair
of men's used work boots, a really big pair.
Put them outside your front door on top of
a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put
a dog dish beside it, a really big dish.

Leave a note on your front door that says
something like "Bubba, Big Mike and I have
gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 an
hour. Don't disturb the pit bulls. They've just
been de-wormed and they are a little edgy."
Received on Tue Feb 28 06:37:51 2006