Perfect Woman

"Perfect Woman"

The preacher said: "There's no such thing
as a perfect man. Anybody present who has
ever known a perfect man, stand up."

Nobody stood up.

"Those who have ever known a perfect
woman, stand up."

One demure little woman stood up.

"Did you ever know an absolutely perfect
woman?" he asked, somewhat amazed.

"I didn't know her personally," replied the
little old woman, "but I have heard a great
deal about her. She was my husband's
first wife."

***************************************

"Excuse For Being Late"

Jones came into the office an hour late
for the third time in one week and found
the boss waiting for him. "What's the
story this time, Jones?" he asked
sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse
for a change."

Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong
this morning, Boss. The wife decided
to drive me to the station. She got ready
in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge
got stuck. Rather than let you down, I
swam across the river -- look, my suit's
still damp -- ran out to the airport, got a
ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter,
landed on top of Radio City Music Hall,
and was carried here piggyback by one
of the Rockettes."

"You'll have to do better than that, Jones,"
said the boss, obviously disappointed.
"No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
Received on Wed Aug 23 01:26:52 2006