For Dog Lovers

"For Dog Lovers"

To: G~d From: The Dog

Dear G~d: Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear G~d: When we get to heaven, can we
sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old
story?

Dear G~d: Why are there cars named after
the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt,
the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a dog? How often do you see a
cougar riding around? We do love a nice
ride! Would it be so hard to rename the
"Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear G~d: If a dog barks his head off in the
forest and no human hears him, is he still
a bad dog?

Dear G~d: We dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear G~d: More meatballs, less spaghetti,
  please.

Dear G~d: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear G~d: Let me give you a list of just some
of the things I must remember to be a good
dog.

1. I will not eat the cat's food before they eat
it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,
etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty
litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are
Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our
stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he
reaches in for Mom's driver's license and
registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch
is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight
up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur
before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and
immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living
room and lick my crotch when we have
company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when
I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last two questions . . .

Dear G~d: Why do humans only have 10
Commandments and dogs have 16?

P.S. Dear G~d: When I get to Heaven, may
I have my testicles back?????
Received on Fri Apr 21 08:17:31 2006