Life As An American

"Life As An American"

We yell for the Government to balance the
budget, then take the last dime we have to
make the down payment on a car that will
take 5 years to pay off.

We demand speed laws that will stop fast
driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go
over 100 miles an hour.

We know the line-up of every baseball team
in the American and National Leagues but
mumble through half the words in the "Star
Spangled Banner."

We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin
pills to make us live longer, then drive 90
miles an hour on slick pavement to make
up for lost time.

We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen
year old son run wild.

We whip any enemy in battle, then give
them the shirt off our backs.

We will work hard on a farm so we can move
into town where we can make more money
so we can move back to the farm.

We run from morning to night trying to keep
our "earning power" up with our "yearning
power."

We get upset we're spending over a billion
dollars for education, but spend five billion
dollars a year for cigarettes.

In the office we talk about baseball, shopping
or fishing, but when we are out at the game,
the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.

We're supposed to be the most civilized
nation on earth, but we still can't deliver
payrolls without an armored car.

We have more experts on marriage than any
other country in the world and still have more
divorces.

We're the country that has more food to eat
than any other country in the world and more
diets to keep us from eating it.
Received on Sun Apr 9 08:32:37 2006