Mother-in-law

"Mother-in-law"

Last week my wife and I went car shopping, and the
salesman asked if I wanted a car with an Air-bag.

I said, "No thanks. I already have a mother-in-law."

-.-

I never forget a face, But in my mother-in-laws' case
I'm willing to make an exception.

-.-

She: This wine is described as full bodied and imposing
with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste.

He: Are you describing the wine or your mother?

******************************************

"Tail"

Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet.

"Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to
have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail."

The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such
a terrible thing?"

"Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow,
and I don't want anything to make her think she's
welcome."

******************************************

"Mother-in-law in Jerusalem"

George went on a vacation to the Middle East with
most of his family including his mother-in-law.
During their vacation and while they were visiting
Jerusalem, George's mother-in-law died. With the
death certificate in hand, George went to the American
Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the
body back to the States for proper burial.

The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law,
told George that the sending of a body back to the States
for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as
$5,000. The Consul continues, in most cases the person
responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the
body here. This would only cost $150.

George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care
how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what
I want to do."

The Consul, after hearing this, says "You must have loved
your mother-in-law very much considering the difference
in price."

"No, it's not! that," says George. "You see, I know of a case
many years ago of a person that was buried here in
Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead. I just
can't take that chance."
Received on Fri Sep 9 19:45:46 2005