Spelling Is An Odd Thing

"Spelling Is An Odd Thing"

The teacher says to her new class, "For our first
lesson, each of you will stand up, tell us your name,
what your father does, spell what your father does,
and then explain it to us. All right, Billy. You go first."

Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My
father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends
people in court."

The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Benjamin."

Tyrone stands up and says, "My name's Benjamin.
My father's a pharmacist, f-a-m... f-a-r-n... f-n..."

The teacher says, "Benjamin, you go home tonight
and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Angelo."

Angelo stands up and says, "My name's Angelo.
My old man's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was
here, he'd give you nine-to-five odds Benjamin
ain't spellin' pharmacist by tomorrow."

*****************************************

"New Student"

It was the first day of school and a new student,
the son of a Japanese businessman, entered
the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class
and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American
history.

Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me death?"

She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that
of Toshiba, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.

"Now," said the teacher, "Who said 'Government
of the people, by the people, for the people shall
not perish from the earth?'"

Again, no response except from Toshiba: "Abraham
Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "You should
be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country,
knows more about it than you do."

As she turned to write something on the blackboard,
she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.
Received on Fri Sep 9 19:44:14 2005